I am officially past the one year mark. I am cancer free. My last CT scan showed no evidence of metastatic disease.
There are a lot of statistics, most of which are pretty scary, they deal in months and years, median survival rates, 5 year survival rates, recurrence rates, etc. Metastatic melanoma, stage 4 melanoma, is generally considered incurable. There are a number of people (6% according to statistics) treated with IL-2 termed complete responders, for whom the disease appears to be cured. A complete response is defined as a long-lasting (10+ years and counting) elimination of the disease, although it is not technically a "cure". I am a member of that fortunate 6%.
I do not believe a person can truly grasp the effect that a diagnosis of metastatic disease can have until you have experienced it. That is obvious I suppose. To believe, and have others believe, that your diagnosis in unsurvivable...but you are still here...for now. It's difficult to reconcile. You prepare for tragedy that doesn't happen, at least not yet.
I read through my previous posts, many of them brought tears. I have forgotten how hard the IL-2 treatment was, and how strong I had to be to get through it. I had forgotten the feelings of desperation, of pain, of accomplishment, of exhaustion, of hope, of perseverance, and of determination. I think I was stronger during my treatment than I am now. Our bodies and our spirits are capable of amazing things, especially when failure simply is not an option.
I don't know if I consider myself a cancer survivor, or a cancer patient? I guess I am both, they cannot be separated. I am a person with a completely new perspective on life, living, illness, loss... everything.
I am here, I'm alive, in one piece, and healthy. Who would believe I have, I had stage 4 cancer? Well, I did, I do, but today...is a beautiful day!
